Just when you think it can’t get any worse, along comes another insipid national event calculated to emasculate the majority of burger-eating mankind with a barely concealed attempt to remove any remaining vestige of dignity and self-esteem.
I am of course talking about last weeks Valentine’s day, from which I’ve barely recovered. I work hard at being the man around the place, despite having a wife and two teenage daughters to grind away at my hardened exterior, and relish my craggy, slightly grumpy, reputation around the old homestead. Such is the spousal and peer pressure to conform to this annual demeaning of British manhood, however, that even I have to succumb to the inevitable and make an effort to be, God forbid, “Romantic” for the day.
Not wishing to blow my own trumpet too much, but I reckon I pulled it off with a degree of style and perceived sincerity that had the wife declaring she’d had “a lovely day”. In my world that’s tantamount to a big win on the lottery. So with peace restored to the household I can now spend some time re-establishing myself as a bastion of masculinity with sports on the telly and beer in the fridge!
But I think a little balance should be restored to the world with a dedicated holiday for the guys. Let’s be realistic – Valentine’s is for the girls, so why can’t we have a day when we celebrate what it is the male population really wants from a relationship? I’m already imagining how to print greetings cards ranges for this happy event and………..
OK – so I realise why we couldn’t make this a “public” holiday, but I bet I could get all the guys to go along with the idea!